Religion Puns

Posted on Google Plus. January, 2012

John Walkenbach posted a link: The Raw Story does it rite: a pun in a headline. Catholic churches evangelize against Obama en masse.

Vince Perriello - You too. Get thee to a punnery.

Peter Lindelauf - I wish the Catholic church would just flock off and die.

John Walkenbach - Just close your eyes, consecrate, and maybe your wish will come true. 

Paul M - I hope they don't make a habit of doing that.

Peter Lindelauf - Or that we're nun the wiser, if they do.

[A bunch of on-topic serious comments]

Paul M - Confession: I don't think we'll be able to resurrect this one, J-Walk.

Scott Morris - Denying the right to denial? That's quite a heavy cross to bear.

John Walkenbach - Yeah Paul, the punfest ended when it got all serious. I could complain, but I don't want to appear to be a martyr

Paul M - You're a regular Saint, John.

John Walkenbach - I can't be declared a saint until I parish.

Jim Dory - If you fall pray to the zealots you may well parish!

John Walkenbach - Yes sir mon. You are correct!

Paul M - That's not a very rosary picture you're painting, Jim.

Paul M - There are two types of people that this stuff doesn't apply to:
A. Men
B. Atified folks

Paul M - And, of course, there's the Holy C.

Paul M - And...
D. Frocked priests
E. Vangelists

John Walkenbach - Save some letters for me. Don't be so creedy.
Adam and F.

John Walkenbach - That last one doesn't make sense. Maybe I should altar it.

Paul M - Ok, but I still get X: communicated folks

John Walkenbach - You should savior good ones for later.

Paul M - I think you meant to say "Pont F."

Paul M - G. Sis

John Walkenbach - Mine was fine. I don't give Adam what you think.

Paul M - You're right. I'll abstain for a while.

John Walkenbach - Whatever you do during your break, don't listen to a sermon by Benny Hinn. I can barely understand him. The Benny diction is really bad.

Paul M - Nah, I'm just going to go exorcize for a while. I'm getting the devil out of this conversation.

Peter Lindelauf - Crucialfiction is the rock upon which God's Church (Roman Catholic) was built.

John Walkenbach - I don't know how long this will Last. Supper awaits...

Mary Keel - God Almighty.

Paul M - Hail, Mary!

Paul M - Be careful to chew your dinner, John. If you eat too fast, you cantickle your throat.

John Walkenbach - Normally, I don't delete comments with bad puns, but after reading the last one, I was tempted to say, "Dis I pull."

Paul M - What, you don't think that was a valid one? Look it up, it Israel.

John Walkenbach - OK, I'll give it to you. It's a tie. We're heaven.

Paul M - So, where's Jes been in this whole game? Hey Jesuit!

John Walkenbach - While we wait for Jes, I need to get cleaned up. It's about time John take Sabbath.

Paul M - Sure is! Your looking king of homily.

John Walkenbach - Maybe +Pamn Baptist will fill in for me.

Paul M - Oh shoot. I think I just left out an apostasy.

Paul M - Speaking of Pamn, how is your laity?

John Walkenbach - She's fine, but I think she needs to go away on a vocation.

Pamn Baptist - These puns are so boring, sometimes I synod off while reading them.

Paul M - I bet John lent you that one, Pamn.

John Walkenbach - Yes, I did. I couldn't let this thread die. I have a significant time in vestment and I'd like to make a prophet.

John Walkenbach - This is fun. Da mental stimulation is good.

Chris Johnson - What in the hell is the (stig)mata with you guys?

Paul M - I don't really understand that last one. I'll just let it Passover.

Paul M - Oh, I get it now! You'll pay for that. You'll pay now, and you'll pagan later.

Chris Johnson - Don't understand? are you out of your bleeding mind?

Margaret McEvoy - Pain in the sacriligiac!

John Walkenbach - Well, if you let one pass, you'll soon be be letting others be passion.

John Walkenbach - By the way, you seem to be a bit drunk. To much wine with dinner? No vena for you!

Chris Johnson - Jesus Christ on a cross, when will this end?

Peter Lindelauf - "You, Peter, are the Rock, a pun which I will build my church." Jesus had a weakness for puns, too.

Paul M - No wine. Just lots of soup. I had so much, I had to use a parables.

John Walkenbach - Don't blame me. Blame hymn!

Paul M - Hey +Chris Johnson, you can't stop me. Not in dis state ordination.

Peter Lindelauf - "Jesus Christ on a cross, when will this end?" When Gladly the Cross-Eyed Bear finishes dancin', Chris.

Paul M - Hey Peter, isn't it pastor bedtime?

John Walkenbach - Maybe we should just end this on a high note. Kill it. Stab it. Spirit. Whatever it takes!

Paul M - No way! I've got a passion for this.

John Walkenbach - After dinner I was trying to find something to fulfill my dessert needs. I discovered that Even Jell-O can do it.

Paul M - On second thought, maybe it was divine.

Paul M - Chris, do you really think you're up to this punfest. Can't you see this is a procession?

Chris Johnson - Damn you

John Walkenbach - I stuck in a candle in that Jell-O, closed my eyes, and blew it out. Pamn asked, "What did Jewish for?"

John Walkenbach - I spotted an ant, attracted to the Jell-O. He was carrying a tiny sign. It was a protest ant.

Paul M - What incarnation are you talking about?

John Walkenbach - Then Pamn wanted to know what to fix for dinner tomorrow. She asked, "Is lamb OK?"

John Walkenbach - I asked her if she she wanted more Jell-O. She said, "More, mon!"

Paul M - What are you on, LDS?

Chris Johnson - Me thinks she protestant too much.

John Walkenbach - The Jell-O was gone, and she said Bahai Bahai.

Paul M - Did you forget to take your meditation, J-Walk?

Chris Johnson - John, you should marry Pamn and take her name. You'd be John D. Baptist

John Walkenbach - Is it true Chris is making some beer? I heard he brew some good stuff.

John Walkenbach - Did you just see an advertisement here? It popped up for a second. Now I don't know where that ad vent.

Paul M - I saw it too! It was for fishing lures. On the web, somebody's always trying to celibate.

Chris Johnson - Someone needs to altar this course.

John Walkenbach - I'm glad you saw it. I thought Google was messiah with my head.

Paul M - Shofar, I think this is a pretty good thread.

Chris Johnson - As much as I worship this, I'm going to have to abstain soon.

Paul M - Well, it's been pretty good. But some people really sukkot this game.

John Walkenbach - If I were a lawyer, I'd put an end to this with a Cease and Deist letter.

Chris Johnson - Don't be pious Paul

Paul M - I'll take that as a word to the vice.

Paul M - Easter a way to end this thread?

John Walkenbach - I don't really care for this this thread. But it's not like I'd boo dis.

Chris Johnson - Let's hope Bisbo stays out of the fray, I don't want to see any pilot, punches

Chris Johnson - Paul, are you going to repay John for the money he lent you?

Paul M - I suppose we could just take epistle to the whole thing. On second though, it might take a canon.

Chris Johnson - Hey-men, you haven't souled out have you?

Paul M - Hey, did I tell you guys I took my buddy Al down to the bar tonight? We had to leave early though. My friend is underage, and they started cardinal.

Chris Johnson - Do you always have to act so superior? Mother!

Paul M - Sorry, everyone. Time to help my daughter with her homework. Soul ong.

John Walkenbach - I'd like to hear More Al stories.

Chris Johnson - You fellers are up and adam this eve. I'm garden myself, I'm not finished eden.

John Walkenbach - I think this is over. You can thank your host.

Chris Johnson - Holy smokes, how rude.

John Walkenbach - Who's going to clean up and pick up the litter? Gee, I don't know.

Chris Johnson - See heresy... you started this you can get your dogma to lap it up.

Gee F - I don't know either.

John Walkenbach: Archived for eternity.


Return to Pun List