I am Mr. Laurent Mpeti Kabila, a senior assistant leader of the Revolutionary United Front of Sierra Leone.
I present to you an urgent and confidential request: I
request your attendance at The 3rd Annual Nigerian EMail Conference. This is an
excellent opportunity to meet your distinguished colleagues, learn new marketing techniques, and
spend your hard-earned money. Attending this conference demands the highest
trust, security and confidentiality between us.
Dates: November 7 - 9, 2003
Location: Abuja Sheraton Hotel & Casino
Registration Fee: $995 per person
conference, it is over.
Like most Nigerians, you're probably finding that it's increasingly difficult to earn a decent living from email. That's why you need to attend the 3rd Annual Nigerian EMail Conference.
"This conference is an investment in your future. Learn to take advantage of modern technology, and make a great deal of money with very little effort. If you have any question, please contact me and I will send you a proposal that may be of interest to you. I await your response by return while assuring you that the transaction is absolutely risk free."
- Dr. Collins Mbadiwe
As in the past, this conference
has something for everyone.
You will hear presentations by
some of the world's leading
Nigerian Email businessmen
Following are just a few of the
many events that are scheduled.
Breakfast Kickoff Session:
Your choice: A hard boiled egg, or two slices of white bread and a cricket.
Dr. Hamza Kalu's adds some historical perspective in his keynote address: "From Postal Scams To Email Scams: We Have Come a Long Way Infant Child."
Attend a lively debate between Lady Mariam Abacha and Mr. Godwin Oyathelem. Topic: "The effectiveness of using all UPPERCASE characters."
Mallam Mahmud Abacah answers the question, "Are 10 million emails a day too many?"
Other countries are now adapting our business. Is this a threat or an opportunity?
Mrs. M Sese-Seko reveals valuable secrets in her session titled, "Those Pesky Email Headers"
Find out how banking systems throughout the world operate -- with special emphasis on money transfers.
Damn, spam, scam, sham. And more rhymes in the "sticks and stones" category.
Soliciting via cell phone text messaging: Can it work?
The taxman he's a comin': Keeping good and accurate records.
We will resume last year's high-spirited discussion of unionization, including health benefits.
Grammatical errors: What's the optimal number?
Dr. Kayode Naiyeju presents his ground-breaking research: "Analyzing response rates using analysis of variance: That pesky R-squared value," as published in The Nigerian Journal of Applied Statistics.
A round table discussion: Is email now Nigeria's top export?
View an entertaining PowerPoint presentation that describes how to get started in this lucrative business, with no initial investment!
Experts critique your emails, and offer valuable tips.
* The actual schedule of
events and participants depends on various trial outcomes and extradition
The Abuja Sheraton Hotel is an elegant 5-star hotel in the heart of the new capital of Nigeria. For more information, click here. Only 575 rooms are available, so make sure you register early!
Amenities* include a bar, a barber shop, running water (hot AND cold), free parking, and a free newspaper (except for weekends).
Imagine yourself sitting in this modern conference room, surrounded by enterprising businessmen like yourself.
Spouses are invited, although they may not attend the conference sessions. Spouses must spend the day in their hotel room watching TV (two channels are available, and one is not cartoons).
* Restrooms are available in the hotel. Please use them.
From Past Conferences...
Registration is via a confidential money transfer.
Send your bank's name, account number, your name, address, telephone number, and fax numbers. Please note again that this transaction is strictly confidential and as such should be kept secret. Be rest assured that this transaction is 100% risk free.
Kindly send the requested information (in complete confidence) to:
Nigerian EMail Conference
c/o Abuja Sheraton Hotel Abuja
Ladi Kwali Way Abuja, NG PMB 143
Nigerian EMail Association
NoMojo Marketing Corporation
"Using free trade zones since 1998."
OK. The joke's over. Nothing more to see here.
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